I recently asked my students to identify what they considered to be the most important events of their lives so far. I always enjoy reading their thoughts, and getting to know about my students' formative experiences. But as I read through them this time, one in particular caught my eye and reminded me of of one of the first entries ever written here (Throwing the Ball, May 28, 2014). One of the young men in my class wrote that one of his life's most important experiences so far was when his father threw the football with him. How profound? How simple? The littlest things that we can do with our kids mean more than we realize. Many studies have indicated that children whose fathers get involved with their educations (take an interest, attend school activities and open-campus events, etc.) tend to perform better academically than their peers whose fathers do not demonstrate the same interest. The August 2016 edition of Texas Home School Coalition Review featured a very good article discussing this principle in more depth (Gray).
By God's design, we all want affirmation of love and approval from our fathers. Fathers, that affirmation is a weighty thing. If it is demonstrated too liberally, like in instances of wrong behavior, then it loses its meaning and credibility. If it is never demonstrated, then our children will seek affirmation from illegitimate alternatives. They have to know that we love them unconditionally, and that because of that love, we will guide them in the way that they should go.
As I mentioned in "Throwing the Ball" almost three years ago, when men throw a ball together, the bond between them is being acknowledged; affirmation is being exchanged. In the final scene of Field of Dreams (SPOILER), just after James Earl Jones calls Costner a "big jerk" (fun fact: in that scene Jones is wearing both a belt and suspenders), Costner's character, Ray, gets the chance to throw the baseball with his father. Throughout the movie, we learn that Ray's father had died several years prior and that their relationship, like their last interaction, had been a contentious one. But in the end when they throw the ball, the love between a father and his son is finally known.
Gray, Frederic. "Dad-The Home Schooling X-Factor." Texas Home School Coalition ReviewAug. 2016: 22-27. Print.