In Response

It was brought to my attention recently that  the New York Times published a piece entitled "27 Ways to Be a Modern Man."  What followed the headline was no surprise, as the modern man was everything that we've come to expect from the Times.  Naturally, I couldn't resist answering the Times modern man with none other than...the Fence Posts timeless man.  Now, in order for this to work, you'll probably need to read the original piece first (maybe even side-by-side) at http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/02/fashion/mens-style/27-ways-to-be-a-modern-man.html?_r=0

1.  The timeless man buys shoes for his wife, not his "spouse."  The difference is a subtle, but crucial one...Actually, it's not even that subtle.
2. The timeless man knows better than to rely on his self-confidence.  He may have learned the hard way, but he learned nevertheless.  His brother(s) and old friends usually have the stories, and in some cases photographs, to document these life lessons.
3. The timeless man is considerate.  The NYT modern man seeks to emulate this quality when it serves his purpose.  Shame on him.
4. The timeless man grills his own steak, and that is not only a privilege, but his calling.
5. The timeless man understands that the necessity for good parking varies from situation to situation, and not only will he park accordingly, but if you have a problem with it, he'll be more than happy to drop you off up at the front so he can continue his pursuit of parking excellence in peace and quiet.
6. The timeless man prays for his wife (not spouse) and kids before heading off to bed.
7. The timeless man enjoys what he likes, without regard for what's fashionable.
8. The timeless man would never say "gauche."
9. The timeless man loves his daughter(s), and his son(s).  He knows that it is an honor to raise and care for them the way that only he can.
10. The timeless man doesn't need to call attention to himself when he's done something right.  The right thing is what he does.  No parade necessary.
11. The timeless man is kind of embarrassed to even say "twitter."
12. When the timeless man's bar of soap is getting too small, he gets a new one out, gets it wet and smashes the old one into it resulting in one misshapen lump of soap.  It won't win any beauty contests, but, as the saying goes, waste not want not.
13. The timeless man listens to the Holy Spirit as a matter of course.
14. The timeless man takes his shopping list in whatever form his wife gives it to him.  Period.
15. The timeless man doesn't wear oxfords around the house.  What, are you David Niven?
16. The timeless man is not a victim.  He doesn't make symbolic gestures.  He's ready for intruders.
17. The timeless man doesn't know what a melon baller is, and neither should you.
18. The timeless man neither owns nor fantasizes about owning any dainty accoutrements.
19. The timeless man learned to bring home flowers from watching his Daddy do it, while the NYT modern man was having his first of many identity crises because his parents were both feminists.
20. On all occasions, the timeless man is a man.  While his wife is his one and only woman and can comfort him like no one else can, he never excuses himself from being a real man.
21. The timeless man has fun with his kids, and remembers that they are kids.
22. The timeless man, as a matter of principle, refuses to get dressed up to take out the garbage.
23. The timeless man doesn't know who Michael Mann is, but he does own a healthy chunk of the Jim Varney video library and any John Wayne movies that speak to his soul.
24. The timeless man understands the value of being away from a phone.
25. The timeless man understands the use of a gun, and he teaches it to his children, and where they are is the safest place you can be.
26. The timeless man does not need to cry to prove anything to himself.  His tears have meaning.
27. The timeless man dances primarily to embarrass his children.  It's good for their character.